Being alone is hard. When you’re stuck at home and have no where to go you really start to doubt all of the relationships in your life, as well as the decisions you have made. I took up running just to have something to do. I don’t particularly like running but spending all day inside just makes me feel worse about myself and useless. I also took up crochet and even guitar. I guess the one positive outcome is that I’ll have some new skills. Days feel like they go on forever as you do the same thing every day. You finish one show and then just move onto the next. Life feels really purposeless. We spend every day trying to stay safe and protect the ones we love, but it’s like life isn’t fun or worth living if I can’t see the people I love or do the things I love. What’s the point of living, if you’re going to spend half of that time doing meaningless things that don’t even make us happy? At this point, I just want something to live for.
[submitted on 5/5/2021]