Well, time sure flies when… you’re stuck at home sheltering in place for weeks. not really but sort of. I remember how at the beginning I had so much fucking trouble adapting to this new teleworking environment. my sleep schedule instantly went he way of the titanic. Of course my eating “schedule” got derailed too, and i learned that my most productive time of day was 2:00 in the morning. I wish i could say that every thing is perfect now but not really. Ive stabilized almost everything. But im just such a night owl. I love going to sleep late I don’t even know why.

It seems like it would be a pretty uneventful but the amount of things that have happened is surprisingly not 0. I lost thousands of dollars yoloing SPY puts like a retard. good thing my tesla stock went to the fucking moon! Ive gotten stronger than ive even been before, ive learned to cut my own hair and for the first time since i got a job i feel like im somewhat decently competent! People like the work i do and i don’t feel completely lost while doing it anymore! so i’ve got that going for me which is nice.

They say no man is a island. But I sure feel like one. And im surprisingly ok with it. At work ive always pretty much been in my own little corner and now, im actually alone in my little corner . it feels nice to have some peace and quiet for once. But of course i would be lying if i said i didn’t feel lonely at times. In these crazy times its more important than ever to take care of our physical and mental health. The thing that has helped me and that Im trying to do more of is looking around me and realize just how much i have and how far ive gotten.

I look back at all of the kind, amazing wonderful people that i’ve had the pleasure of crossing paths with in my life, even if for just a brief moment, and being grateful for everything i’ve gotten. all of the good times and the bad ones. The happiness and the sadness. The kindness and the cruelty. Accepting everything and being grateful for it. It is the reason I am where i am and why I am who I am and the reason I am where I am in life.

My mind cant help but go into these endless rabbit holes about the the effects this virus has had on the economy, on society and the world. Unreal numbers of people getting sick and dying. Even more unbelievable numbers of people losing their jobs. Stock markets doing a “cat falling to the earth at 300 miles” pattern. Negative oil prices. The fed printing money till the printer runs out of ink. And then printing MORE money electronically. Toilet paper and hand sanitizer becoming a valuable rare commodities. The dankest darkest memes of the decade. Disinfectant injections. So many businesses closing and the ones that are reopening having to change how they operate completely. So many biotech companies rushing to get a vaccine out and not knowing when or if they will ever get there. People talking about indefinite telework and 4 day work weeks and universal basic income and stimulus checks and emergency bills not passing and negative interest rates and even more stimulus checks and bills still not passing.

I think about all of the people that couldn’t see the mountains in their horizon and the stars in the sky because of the air pollution now can appreciate the beauty of nature. About all of the whales that finally get to have deep meaningful conversations with each other instead of having to yell over the loud human oceans.

These are crazy unprecedented times we are living in and I have no idea what is going to happen next. But I am hopelessly curious and cant wait to find out. Even if(when) we beat this invisible enemy, the world will never be the same.

[submitted on 5/21/2020]