What I’ve noticed most are the emotional challenges of staying upbeat while being cut off from the usual contacts. I miss my church groups!

At almost 75, I am part of the at-risk group. I am in pretty good shape, so that part feels less significant and I have been grateful to be able to combine my grocery shopping with the needs of a friend with COPD who doesn’t dare go. I was really surprised, however, by how distressing all the new rules were for me during the first two weeks of shopping. I had thought I was more unflappable than that.

As the live-in Grandma, i’ve found one of the biggest changes has been having the 2 grandchildren home doing online “distance learning.” We’ve all been learning, teachers too. Initially, it was frustrating figuring how to navigate the programs. I had been pretty computer-literate in my career, and this was stumping me. The 5th grader could get us unlost but the 2nd grader and I couldn’t remember how he had done it the next time. If my son or daughter-in-law is home, my help isn’t needed and I have had to school myself in backing off and managing my feelings: this stuff isn’t about me.

I have a part-time office job at the church which is very flexible and fulfilling, so I have a place to go and work to do to support the congregation’s worship services and other efforts to serve the needs of the community. I’ve stayed active in the worship team, connecting in person with a small group on Sunday mornings and uploading the recorded services to the web.

One of my small group studies meets electronically on Thursdays. We’ve been sharing our successes and our challenges. Praying for them and knowing they are praying for me and my family has helped keep me grounded. My prayer life has expanded and maybe even deepened as I think about what others are up against. I am grateful that we have been so minimally affected. My income stays the same. Both parents are still employed. None of us has gotten the virus.

I have found it sadly ironic that, while we have been so completely focused on adjusting to the pandemic requirements, all the other emotional stuff continues at the same time. It’s overwhelming. There is a divorce in the works here. Mom has moved out and all the tentative, shaky routines we worked out starting in March are up in the air again. Eventually things will settle down and Mom will be back working at her office more regularly. Before the lockdown, I had come to realize that I serve as an anchoring support in this family. I am a steadying foundation, a calm in the midst of the storm for them. That’s still true, but it’s harder now for me to keep my own emotions balanced and healthy.

[submitted on 5/16/2020]